


Irrational Behavior

by Schupuff



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Dry Humping, Enemies to ???, M/M, Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Rating May Change, fade to black/implied sex, no beta we die like Glenn, spoilers white clouds/crimson flower
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:01:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22110733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schupuff/pseuds/Schupuff
Summary: Ferdinand is not in a good mood. Hubert certainly doesn't help things at all.
Relationships: Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra
Comments: 94
Kudos: 251





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I couldn't get pre-time skip Ferdinand and Hubert out of my head. I miiiiight continue this? I dunno. We'll see.

Ferdinand von Aegir was distressed. And when he was distressed, he could not sit still. And when he could not sit still, he… well he had many ways of coping with that. Sometimes he took tea to calm his nerves. Sometimes he went to the stables and then on a horseback ride. Other times, like today, he took his frustrations out on the poor training dummies. He speared one straight through the heart as he yelled. Straight through the heart. That’s where the professor’s words had hit him. No, they had said. No to Ferdinand’s plea to be selected to represent his house at the White Heron Cup. Didn’t they understand how important this was to him? For everyone to see how passionate he could be? To prove his father wrong and that he could be perfectly noble and honorable _and_ dance? It wasn’t fair to have his dreams dashed. So what if Dorothea was actually well versed in dance? So what if she was already talented in performing? It felt like cheating as far as he was concerned. She was a professional! The other houses could not claim to have anyone like her in their ranks. He sighed as he retrieved his lance. She was going to be phenomenal She always was. Foolish to think he’d ever be picked, no matter how his heart had been set on it.

“So this is where you’ve been hiding,” came a voice from the entrance of the training grounds. Ferdinand frowned as he saw Hubert approaching him. How long had he been there watching?

“Hubert. If you are meaning to stalk me, you should keep your presence hidden. Work on that for me, will you?” He gathered his equipment to return it to the racks.

“I’m afraid I cannot. We have stable duty together.”

“And here I was hoping you would forget.”

“While the arrangement is less than ideal, the work needs doing.”

Ferdinand slammed the training lance back in its place on the rack and glared at Hubert. “Then just let me do it. You hate horses and they hate you too. Believe me, I understand why.”

“Don’t tell me you speak to them like that Marianne girl.”

“Shut up, Hubert.”

Hubert laughed. “Isn’t that interesting, you telling me to shut up. What has caused the oh so noble Ferdinand von Aegir to act like this?”

“None of your concern, Hubert.”

“Oh?” Hubert crossed his arms. “I find it to be very much my concern. We cannot have anyone loyal to the empire be emotionally compromised. Not with recent events.”

Ferdinand dramatically shrugged as he let out an exasperated sigh. “I am not emotionally compromised! I am just…disappointed.” He shook his head. Why was he telling Hubert this of all people? He hated him. He hated how condescending he was, and what was worse, how right he could be. Hubert could read him like a tome. He hated to admit that it sometimes caused him to reflect on his failings. That would be admitting to him being helpful. Hubert was anything but.

“Don’t tell me,” he sneered. “Did you really think you would be selected for the White Heron Cup? You are aware Dorothea is in our house, correct?”

“Yes, but I wanted it!”

Hubert chuckled. “And of course that makes you deserving. My mistake.”

Ferdinand scoffed and rolled his eyes. “I do not have to explain myself to you.”

Hubert crossed his arms. “Oh no no, please. Explain. Please enlighten me to the inner workings of Ferdinand von Aegir.”

Ferdinand clenched his fists and glared up at him. “Stop mocking me, Hubert! I am in no mood.”

Hubert’s eye flicked down to Ferdinand’s fists and his smirk remained. “Is that a threat?”

Something inside Ferdinand snapped and he swung to hit Hubert squarely in the jaw, but his fist hit nothing but air as Hubert ducked out of the way. Ferdinand gritted his teeth as he heard Hubert laughing at him. He moved to swing again but instead of dodging, Hubert grasped his wrist. Ferdinand tried to pull it away. “Unhand me.”

“Oh, no, I think not. What would everyone say if they saw you acting so ignobly?”

Ferdinand struggled against his grip. “I do not care!”

“Yes, you do.”

Ferdinand groaned. “Shut up!” he yelled as he shoved Hubert toward the wall, Hubert still holding tight to his wrist pulled him in so they were pressed against each other. Ferdinand hardly seemed to notice. “What do you even know about me, you…you…”

“You what?”

Ferdinand acting on instinct pressed his thigh in between Hubert’s wide stance and leaned up. “You subservient cur.”

Hubert clicked his tongue against his teeth. “Is that the best you have? You’re the one begging for attention like a lost dog.”

“I do not beg,” he growled.

“We’ll see about that.”

Ferdinand gasped as he felt Hubert roll his hips against his leg. His breathing became heavy as he felt his cheeks flush at the contact.

Hubert’s grin was wicked. “You crave any attention at all, don’t you?”

Ferdinand felt his face grow warm as what he thought was anger started to boil inside him. “Sh-shut up, Hubert. I am warning you, I will…”

“You will what?”

Ferdinand surged forward and crushed his mouth against Hubert to silence him as he tried to wriggle his wrist free. He shivered as Hubert moaned against what Ferdinand was trying to convince himself was not at all a kiss. No, no kissing was something far gentler, more romantic. Something asked for or coyly stolen during an evening stroll or a dance. Ferdinand wanted his first kiss to be slow, romantic. Perhaps after or during the ball. Maybe while sneaking a visit to the Goddess tower. Not whatever this feverish thing was. And certainly not with Hubert von Vestra. He pressed Hubert further against the wall, attempting to pin him there as he felt him try to push back, try to assert some sort of dominance. Ferdinand was unwilling to yield, yet could not help but open his mouth to allow Hubert to slide his tongue inside and…well shit. He was kissing Hubert von Vestra.

Ferdinand surged his hips forward, mocking Hubert’s earlier action and the fiery anger within his chest shot straight to his groin as Hubert released a throaty growl. Ferdinand’s free hand gripped Hubert’s hair, holding him in place as instinct took control, while Hubert’s found the small of his back, pulling him in tight. He continued to rut against Hubert, pressing him against the wall, eager to feel more and more of the hard friction growing between them, hating Hubert for drawing it out of him. Hating him for his taste and his scent and his unmatched ability to anger him and cause him to behave so irrationally. How pathetic that he would let Hubert get to him like this. Ferdinand forced himself to pull away and glared at Hubert. “Fuck. You.”

Hubert wore an expression Ferdinand could only describe as dumbfounded before it slowly morphed into a more familiar, teasing smirk. “Is that a promise?” he chuckled.

Ferdinand shoved against him to force himself free of Hubert’s grip. “Get off me.” He straightened his cravat and attempted to smooth his uniform jacket all while attempting to determine the best course of action. Denial was the only thing coming to mind. He avoided Hubert’s eyes as he started to storm away toward the exit. “Let us get our damned chores over with.”

Hubert only chuckled. “As you wish.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ferdinand is still grumpy about dancing. Hubert is a little more helpful.

The air was cool as Ferdinand stepped away from the ball. Dorothea had proven to be a stellar choice to represent the Black Eagle house. She was graceful, breathtaking and leagues ahead of the competition the other two houses had put forward. Still, Ferdinand felt jealousy stirring within him. He’d wanted to compete. He wanted to excel. He wanted everyone to see him at his best. He wanted Edelgard to witness him surpass her in something, _anything_ , no matter if she held interest in it or not. He wanted Hubert to see him and perhaps respect him for something. He swallowed hard as he remembered their encounter earlier in the month. They hadn’t spoken of it since, but Ferdinand felt his gaze upon him more intensely and Ferdinand in turn found it far more difficult to look him in the eyes. He needed some space. The ball was lovely, certainly. But all appeared to be celebrating Dorothea’s victory or just the professor’s presence. Nearly everyone was dancing, but none had approached him. The few that he did had declined the opportunity. It only served to remind him how alone he was. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair as he stopped walking, realizing he had ended up at the Goddess Tower. “What is wrong with me?” he asked himself aloud.

“Would you like a list?” came a voice from just behind him.

Ferdinand jumped as he looked around to find Hubert lurking mere feet away. He exhaled and relaxed his tensed shoulders. “Goddess, Hubert! Warn a man when you are slinking about, will you?”

Hubert scoffed. “Now where is the fun in that?”

Ferdinand groaned. “What are you doing out here anyway? I would expect you to be affixed to Edelgard’s side.”

“I am allowed to step away when I see fit. Why are you? One would think a lavish celebration would be your element. Could it be you’ve escaped to indulge in some secret tryst? You did wander your way to the Goddess Tower, after all.” He laughed and Ferdinand frowned.

“I needed to get some air.”

Hubert stepped closer. “You needed to not see everyone fawning over your rivals. What, did no one wish to dance with you?”

Yes. “No. I have had plenty of offers, unlike you.”

“Is that so? And yet you took none of them up on it. Curious.”

Ferdinand gritted his teeth. Of course Hubert had been watching him. He was likely watching everyone. “What do you care how I spend my evening? Do you not have more pressing matters to attend to? Does Edelgard not need a drink or her coat or something?”

“I merely wanted to ensure you’re over your little tantrum. I have reason to doubt this is the case.”

Ferdinand couldn’t help but clench his fists. “I was not having a tantrum! You could never understand how I feel! You have never wanted anything for yourself!”

Hubert crossed his arms. “You say that as if it’s a bad thing.”

“It is!” he pleaded. “You should have some sort of desire! Ambition! Anything! Then you would know how terrible it feels to have it ripped away.”

Hubert said nothing in response and appeared to be carefully considering Ferdinand. He at last shook his head. “You know nothing of me.”

“What is there to know? You are barely human. You stand there, looming in Edelgard’s shadow ready to jump at her command. How pitiful.”

Hubert let his arms fall to his sides as he aggressively stepped forward into Ferdinand’s space. His cold expression made Ferdinand nearly regret his words. He wondered how often Hubert’s stare had been the last thing someone saw before death. “Tell me, where do you stand?”

“Excuse me?” He took a shaky few steps back. Hubert kept pace until Ferdinand was backed against the wall of the tower. Hubert loomed over him, slamming his hand against the wall at the side of Ferdinand’s head.

“If everything falls apart tomorrow, no crests, no nobility, no titles, nothing...where do your loyalties lie? Who are you, Ferdinand von Aegir?”

Ferdinand gasped at the question. He was Ferdinand von Aegir. He was the future Duke Aegir, the eventual Prime Minister of the Adrestian Empire. He was everything perfectly noble and what his family could be proud of. He’d worked for that because he was supposed to. He was supposed to secure his father’s legacy. Did he even want that? He used to think so, but the more he learned about leadership and nobility and his own father’s actions, the less he wanted to be associated with the man. What was Hubert getting at? How dare he cause him to question himself? His lack of ability to answer quickly was met with a chuckle.

“How pathetic,” Hubert said. “I may not have some childish dream, but at least I know who I am.”

Ferdinand rolled his eyes. He would not let an insult like that stand. He may not be certain on the man he was to become, but he was still a better one than Hubert von Vestra. “That is because you are of House Vestra. All you were born for was to serve the emperor like a dog. I at least will be seen as her equal. Perhaps better than-”

“Are you still on that fool’s errand?” he interrupted. “You want to surpass her, do you?” He whispered into his ear “You listen to me, von Aegir. I will never let her fall to your name.”

Ferdinand shivered as he felt Hubert’s breath against his neck. “Try and stop me,” he challenged. He gasped as Hubert harshly kissed his neck, teeth grazing his skin just slightly. He groaned as Hubert sucked at his neck and he gripped the back of Hubert’s head to keep him there.

“Careful,” Hubert, murmured, smiling against Ferdinand’s neck. “You wouldn’t want a bruise on that perfect noble skin of yours, would you?”

Ferdinand whimpered. “Shut up,” he sighed as he yanked Hubert’s head back, causing him to whimper despite his wicked grin. Ferdinand leaned up and kissed him with no pretense of trying to pretend it was anything else. He couldn’t stop thinking about their prior encounter when he had Hubert in a similar position. The thought had kept him up at night recently. Of all people to kiss, why did the thought of Hubert excite him so? Was this to be their fate? Constantly attacking, poking and prodding each other until something gave and they surrendered to each other’s lips and tongues and touch? He sighed into Hubert’s mouth as he combed his fingers through Ferdinand’s hair, the only warning he gave before rocking his hips forward. Ferdinand sighed as he felt Hubert’s arousal against him and he yearned to press closer. “Hubert,” he gasped as he broke the kiss to breathe.

Hubert did not respond, instead staying close, keeping their foreheads pressed together, and looking at Ferdinand with his visible eye half lidded. Another roll of his hips, another bit of rough friction was enough to draw a ragged moan from Ferdinand. Ferdinand opened his stance and started to wrap his leg around Hubert’s when he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. “Someone’s coming,” he hissed.

Hubert gave one silent nod as he removed himself from Ferdinand, grabbed his wrist and pulled him along to what he’d clearly assessed was a hiding place. Normally, Ferdinand would loudly complain about being pulled along so roughly, but the last thing he needed was for rumors to get out about him being at the Goddess Tower with Hubert. Well, not rumors, but truths. Either way, he refused to be discovered. He looked to Hubert with the intent to whisper a plan to escape and not be seen but Hubert was not paying attention to him. Instead he stared forward, eyes wide and he reminded Ferdinand of a startled cat. Confused, he followed Hubert’s line of sight to where they had fled from to see Edelgard arriving at the tower with Dorothea. So that’s what had Hubert on edge. Ferdinand couldn’t help but smile and held the back of his hand against his mouth to stifle his laugh. Hubert punched him in the arm. Ferdinand shoved back. Hubert turned his head and glared menacingly at Ferdinand before tackling him to the ground.

“Is someone there?” They stopped immediately as they heard Edelgard’s voice. Hubert released Ferdinand from his grip and moved to stand.

“Don’t you dare!” Ferdinand harshly whispered. Hubert kicked him in the shin as he stood.

“It is I, Lady Edelgard,” he said as he stepped into their view. Ferdinand remained on the ground out of sight, listening. “Forgive the intrusion. I assumed you would still be at the ball.”

Ferdinand heard her groan. “You’re certain you were not following me, Hubert?”

“I was not. I had...business to attend to.”

Dorothea laughed. “Hubie, business at the Goddess Tower tonight? I didn’t know you had it in you, you rascal.”

“In any case, Hubert, is your ‘business’ concluded?”

“It is, Lady Edelgard,” Hubert folded his hands behind his back and purposefully pointed to Ferdinand’s left. “I will let you know that if you are looking for privacy, the archway over there is sufficient. Hardly any lines of sight to it.”

“Yes, thank you, Hubert,” Edelgard said hurriedly. “You are dismissed.”

Hubert bowed and Ferdinand took that as his cue to crawl toward the direction Hubert indicated. Hubert followed closely behind. He grabbed Ferdinand by the scruff of his jacket and hauled him to his feet, purposefully leading them away from the tower. “Ferdinand von Aegir, you are lucky you remain breathing,” he said through gritted teeth.

Ferdinand wriggled free from Hubert’s grip. He dusted off his clothes with his hand.“We would have been fine if you did not tackle me.”

“Do not bring my own irrationality into this you were the one who-“

“It has been a long night,” Ferdinand interrupted. “Let us not dwell on it.”

Hubert frowned and nodded. “Very well.”

They walked in silence back towards the ball and Ferdinand groaned in annoyance as the music hit his ears. “Damn. I do like this song. Now I do not even get to dance to it.” He sighed. “Oh well. This whole event should just be written off as a loss.”

“Oh, do shut up, Ferdinand,” Hubert grumbled as he grasped Ferdinand’s wrist and pulled him in close, placing his other hand on his waist and beginning to waltz. It wasn’t a good waltz, Ferdinand noted, but passable and he resigned himself to resting his hand on Hubert’s shoulder. It felt awkward. Not simply because Hubert was leading him and Ferdinand von Aegir was not one to be led, but rather than think about that, he was finding it difficult to look Hubert in the eyes. All he could think of was the feel of his kiss.

“Where did you learn to…”

“Edelgard needed a dance partner,” he responded gruffly. Ferdinand nodded and said nothing more as they continued to dance outside of the ball in the cool of the night. Why was he doing this? Didn’t they hate each other? He was pretty certain they did. Though if he hated Hubert so much, why had he kissed him twice now? Why did he crave the feel of Hubert’s body against his? He leaned in closer as the dance continued. Hubert was fairly warm on a cold night at least. “There,” Hubert said, unceremoniously releasing him as the music ended. “Are you satisfied?”

Ferdinand popped his neck. “Hardly. You are a terrible dancer.”

Hubert scoffed and Ferdinand thought for a moment he saw the barest hint of a smirk. “I made no promises otherwise.”

Ferdinand looked back to the ball and then to Hubert again. “You did not have to do that for me.”

“And suffer through your incessant whining about how no one would pay attention to you? Please, I was doing myself a favor.”

“Can you just-“ he sighed and shook his head before starting to walk back to the dormitory. “Never mind. Good night, Hubert.”

“Good night, Ferdinand.”

Ferdinand paused and looked back over his shoulder at Hubert and offered him a small smile before continuing on his way.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys find common ground.

Ferdinand did not care for the morose mood the Academy found itself in the wake Jeralt’s murder. He didn’t like seeing everyone’s sad faces. Even the professor, who did not often show much by way of emotion, seemed downtrodden.

The dining hall, normally bustling and lively was far quieter than usual and Ferdinand found he did not know where to sit. He often sat alone, listening in on his classmate’s conversations. He never turned down the professor’s invite to dine with them. But as for anyone waving him over to join them for a meal, well…it was typically Lorenz or nothing.

Oddly, Hubert was there, alone, focus on a book more than the food that was cooling in front of him.

Ferdinand bit his lower lip as he remembered vividly how it felt to be under Hubert’s gaze and how his kiss tasted faintly of coffee. Ferdinand took a deep breath and approached, sitting across from him.

Hubert tensed before glaring up at Ferdinand. “Do you mind?” he drawled.

Ferdinand shrugged. “I just thought in the wake of everything you might not wish to sit alone.”

“Meaning you wish to not?” He sighed and sat up a little more. “Fine. What is it?”

“Does it have to be something? I cannot just wish to sit with you?”

“Not you, no.” He reached for his coffee and took a drink.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means I don’t like you. I operate under the assumption that the feeling is mutual,” he said as he looked back to his reading.

Ferdinand frowned. Certainly, Hubert was correct. They did not like each other. They grated on each other’s last nerve and even sitting down to a meal had devolved into an argument. Still, as much as he made a show for others about being repulsed by Hubert’s presence, he still was not the worst to be around. “I do not…hate you,” Ferdinand settled on as he held his teacup. “I do not like you, that is correct, but I do not think I hate you. I am not quite sure what my feelings towards you even are, recent events considering. You are not an enemy, but not a friend and yet you may be the closest thing I have to one that is not Lorenz. Perhaps Petra, but she is upset with me right now.”

“That’s pathetic.”

“Oh, like you have friends.” He pointed at Hubert the moment Hubert opened his mouth. “Edelgard does not count.”

“Lady Edelgard _indeed_ counts,” he said with a smug smirk. “As does Bernadetta…”

“She flees in terror from you.”

“That may very well be, but there is also Petra and Dorothea.”

“Do your ‘friends’ know of their status?”

“…Dorothea calls me Hubie.”

Ferdinand shook his head. “She calls me Ferdie and she hates me.”

Hubert laughed that quiet laugh that annoyed Ferdinand endlessly. “Is that so, Ferdie?”

“Shut up, Hubie.” He sighed and looked down into his teacup. “You did me a kindness on the night of the ball, so forgive me if I thought maybe our dynamic had shifted.”

“I could not leave you to mope,” he said at last. ““It’s bad for group morale. It may be true that no one likes you, but you have an enthusiasm about you that motivates others. Be it out of spite or not is neither here nor there, but it’s a positive quality, as grating as it is.”

Ferdinand could not come up with a cunning enough retort and so he simply picked at his food. “Do you think the professor will be all right?”

“They need to be. I hate to admit, but we need their prowess on the battlefield.”

“For what? These little skirmishes that keep popping up?”

“They will not stay skirmishes for long,” Hubert said. “You can feel that as well as I, can’t you? With the knights deployed, our defenses here are dramatically lowered. I cannot help to feel that was a goal.”

“Hm, you do make a valid point. Even so, Jeralt was the professor’s father! And to lose him so suddenly, I cannot imagine what that’s like. I am concerned they will chase revenge.”

Hubert furrowed his brow. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it just as quick.

“What? You were going to say something.”

“I find myself curious, is all.” He took a drink of his coffee. “Your father ranks high on the list of the most horrid people I have ever had the displeasure of knowing. I wonder if you found yourself in the same position as the professor, would you want some sort of revenge for his death?”

Ferdinand paused, willing himself to not clench his fist in anger. Surely Hubert was merely trying to get a rise out of him. And while he’d certainly achieved getting something to rise recently, Ferdinand was determined to not let it be his anger. And once again, Hubert was right. “I cannot say that I would,” he admitted. “My father is not the epitome of nobility and while I would prefer to see him face the consequences of his actions, his untimely end would not be the most unfortunate thing in the world. He sullies the von Aegir name, truly,” he added calmly before sipping his tea. He felt Hubert’s gaze upon him as if his eyes could bore a hole through his chest. “What?”

“I admit I am surprised by your reaction. Not yelling about me for speaking ill of your noble family, not challenging me to a duel… Perhaps you are correct. Perhaps you would not seek vengeance. And even more surprising, you’ve lowered your guard and agreed with me.”

“Well, let us not make a habit of it, but you are not wrong. He is an awful man, but for what it is worth…when he dies, I will mourn. He is my father after all. Clearly some good is in him if he managed to produce me. I certainly did not inherit his looks, hair color aside.”

“I’m glad of that.”

Ferdinand felt his cheeks grow warm. “I…uh...”

Hubert shook his head. “Oh, don’t read into it. He’s hideous and you know it.”

Ferdinand rolled his eyes. “Do not even joke, Hubert. The same can be said for yours.”

Hubert chuckled before looking back to his book.

Ferdinand ate some of his meal as Hubert continued to read. “Hubert?”

He groaned and turned a page. “What?”

“Is this…are we getting along?”

“Let us not make a habit of it.” He finished his coffee and closed his book. “The professor in their mourning has neglected to change our tasks this week. I will see you in the stables later this afternoon?”

“Yes. Maybe this time you will listen to me when I tell you how to brush them.”

* * *

Ferdinand was unsure how they completed any of their chores. When he’d arrived at the stables, the tension in the air between him and Hubert was thick and it wasn’t long before he found himself on his back in the hay with Hubert’s hands exploring under his jacket and his lips again at his throat. They wrestled there a while before abruptly separating when they heard approaching footsteps. They hastily finished their work in the stables, made some excuse to the professor about how their work suffered due to an argument and, in silent agreement, hastily walked toward the dormitories. Ferdinand whimpered as Hubert all but slammed him into the stairway wall, impatiently pressing his lips to Ferdinand’s.

“Wait,” Ferdinand panted, trying to pull away. “We are still in the stairwell.”

“Then you had better move quickly,” Hubert said against his neck as he traced his hand over the bulge in Ferdinand’s pants. Ferdinand quivered at the touch and all but melted against the wall.

Ferdinand only nodded and moved to lead Hubert along. When they reached his door, he paused, his fingers lightly upon the door handle. He swallowed hard as the realization hit him that by entering his room, he was either going to lose his virginity or his life to Hubert von Vestra. Both was also an option. He could stop this. He could send Hubert away right now and then never speak of this again. He didn’t even like him! They argued and fought more than anything and Ferdinand swore Hubert sought to anger him on purpose. He annoyed Ferdinand with his every breath and yet Ferdinand couldn’t help to be drawn to him. Drawn to his calm demeanor, his low voice and the way his challenges only made Ferdinand more determined. He bit at his bottom lip as he resigned himself to opening the door and allowing Hubert inside.

“Undress,” Hubert ordered, shutting the door behind them.

“You do not get to command me,” Ferdinand replied with a scoff.

There was a heavy pause between them as Hubert stared him in the eyes. Ferdinand tried to hide his fear. Death was looking like a far more likely option at this point, especially as Hubert reached for him and pulled him flush against his chest, breathing into his ear. Ferdinand gasped as he felt Hubert’s arousal against his leg. “Why do you do this to me?” Hubert whispered. “Why of all people is it _you_?”

“Believe me, the feeling is mutual,” Ferdinand said before leaning up to kiss him, his shaking fingers fumbling with the buttons of Hubert’s jacket and finally shoving the garment off. He pulled back to see Hubert shirtless in front of him, his skin pale and smooth. While he was definitely thin, he was toned underneath it all, more toned than Ferdinand realized. “Who else has seen you like this?” he asked as he trailed his fingers along Hubert’s lean frame.

“Not many,” Hubert admitted. He leaned down and kissed Ferdinand again, urging him to move back toward the bed. Ferdinand loosened his cravat and tossed it aside as Hubert started to work his belt and jacket, exposing his skin to the cool air. Hubert broke the kiss to gaze at Ferdinand, his expression not changing.

Ferdinand felt his face flush. Did he not like Ferdinand’s physique? He liked Hubert’s! It was the only thing he liked about him! It was only fair that Hubert feel the same. He opened his mouth to speak but said nothing as Hubert leaned down to suck at Ferdinand’s right pec. He gasped as Hubert flicked his tongue against his nipple and reached to grasp his fingers in Hubert’s hair, moaning his name. He bit his lower lip as he felt Hubert’s fingers deftly tease the waistband of his pants.

“Are you hesitating?” Hubert asked.

Ferdinand shook his head. “No. You should know me better than that. I will never back down from you.”

Hubert chuckled as his smirk turned wicked. “Good. I was counting on it.”

* * *

“At least I have surpassed Edelgard in something," Ferdinand mused as he stared up at the ceiling.

“And what’s that?” he asked as he sat up.

“Tell me, whose bed are you in, Hubert? I clearly am now more worthy of your time than she.”

“Perhaps for this one thing,” he said as he got out of Ferdinand’s bed.

Ferdinand laughed as he rolled onto his side and watched Hubert gather his clothes. “Must you leave?”

Hubert pulled on his jodhpurs and scoffed. “Yes. I have concerns that Lady Edelgard is wondering where I am.”

“Loyal as ever.”

Hubert frowned as he pulled his jacket off of the floor and put it on. “You know, this changes nothing between us,” he said as he buttoned it.

“Of course not. You are still completely detestable.” He exhaled as he watched Hubert take a seat to pull on his boots. Of all people, he’d brought Hubert into his bed. He hated the man, yet could not say he hated what they had just done. They had never gotten along, even as children, despite Ferdinand’s best efforts. He’d resigned himself to knowing their relationship would be forever one of animosity. It was all so confusing. The things they had done were not the actions of enemies. “Why did we…”

“I don’t know,” Hubert answered abruptly.

“Do you want to again?”

Hubert sat still and quiet for for a moment before standing. “Perhaps.”

“Two victories for me today, then,” Ferdinand said confidently.

“Two victories?” he asked, facing Ferdinand.

“That is correct. I have succeeded in getting your attention and in getting you to admit you want something for yourself.”

“My, aren’t we humble in victory. Well done, von Aegir! Enjoy sleeping alone.”

Ferdinand sat up, the bed sheets sitting at his waist. “Hey, wait!”

Hubert groaned in annoyance. “What is it?”

Ferdinand looked away from him and brushed his bangs back. It was all so embarrassing. He was certain they were not friends, lovers, whatever this was. Yet he didn’t want him to leave. He’d always thought his first time in bed with someone else would have ended with them both basking in the afterglow. But he couldn’t let Hubert know that. “If you finish whatever task Edelgard requires of you, I will have my door unlocked.”

“That’s a fine way to be murdered.”

“Perhaps, but if you wish to not be alone…I am here.”

Hubert shook his head as he approached Ferdinand’s bedside. He reached for his chin and guided Ferdinand to look up at him. Ferdinand swallowed hard before Hubert kissed him. Ferdinand was still in shock. This kiss wasn’t rough, wasn’t forceful and Hubert was not invading his mouth with his tongue. It was bizarrely soft and warm and Ferdinand sighed as Hubert pulled away. He scoffed. “You could at least kiss back if you want to play at being enticing.”

Ferdinand said nothing in response as he watched him leave. He remained in his room the majority of the evening, leaving only to procure some water for tea and a book from the library, which he fell asleep reading. He awoke suddenly in the night, startled awake by some movement in his bed. As his eyes adjusted to the dark room, he noticed his book placed neatly on the nightstand, his tea set straightened up and the sound of Hubert’s soft breathing from behind him. On the small dorm bed, their bodies were pressed close together, but just as earlier, it strangely fit and Hubert’s arm was as comforting around him as any quilt could be. He took a deep, relaxing breath and closed his eyes, succumbing easily to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes they don't like each other and are soft about it, I dunno. Thanks for reading this. It's not like anything I've written before so I hope it's going well.
> 
> [@schupuff](twitter.com/schupuff)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oops! All Feelings!

It wasn’t fair, Ferdinand thought as he watched Hubert sleep. He gently brushed Hubert’s bangs away from his face to catch a rare glimpse of his entire face. He was handsome, Ferdinand had come to realize in the month they’d spent visiting each other’s beds. And that wasn’t fair. Ferdinand was aware of his own attractiveness, but Hubert could seemingly not care less. He didn’t even appear to put any sort of effort into his appearance. Ferdinand released his hair as he heard Hubert groan, his face scrunching before his eyes fluttered open. “What?” he grumbled.

“You should cut your hair,” Ferdinand responded.

“Why?”

“So people can see more of your face.”

“I’d rather them not,” he yawned as he sat up. “Better for anonymity.”

Ferdinand huffed. “Well maybe _I_ would rather see more of it then having your hair in my face all the time.”

“We can try another position.”

“That is not what I mean!”

“Are you saying you just want to look at me?”

“So what if I was?”

Hubert laughed. “Don’t lie, von Aegir. No one wants to look at me.”

Ferdinand frowned and sat up. “Well perhaps they should. You are not as unpleasant on the eyes as you think.”

Hubert smirked. “Yes, but I am dour,” he said as he started to crawl on top of Ferdinand, kissing him lightly to punctuate each word. “Unpleasant. Boring. Brooding.”

Ferdinand giggled at each little kiss. “True, at least I can brighten whatever room you have darkened.” He pushed Hubert’s bangs back once more. “Do you wish to know a secret?” he asked.

Hubert scoffed. “I make my living knowing secrets. I doubt there is anything you could say that would-“

“I always wanted to be your friend. I thought I may be starting to grow on you and then one day you just started pushing me away more and I have never figured out why.”

Hubert sat up and moved to the edge of the bed, his face contorting to a frown. “You know why.”

Ferdinand shook his head. “I assure you, I do not.”

Hubert didn’t answer as he stood from the bed and started to dress himself.

“Hubert,” he groaned in frustration. “You are always like this! What did I ever do to you, Hubert? Why do you brush me off as if I am nothing more than some annoyance you have to deal with?”

“That’s because you _are_ nothing but an annoyance!” Hubert growled, turning to face him. “You and your idiotic attempts at besting Lady Edelgard, your pompous self-flatteries, your constant reminders of how noble you are and how better you think you are than everyone, but you are not, Ferdinand. No one likes you because you never stop annoying them with your prattling and your uselessness and...”

Ferdinand’s vision blurred with tears and his chest felt tighter with each word that Hubert said. It became difficult for him to keep his breath steady and he felt his cheeks grow wet.

Hubert’s posture relaxed. “…are you crying?”

Yes. “No,” he said, “I do not…It is unbecoming to…” He wiped his eyes on his sleeve.

Hubert scoffed as he approached Ferdinand. Ferdinand pulled away as Hubert reached for him. “Stop fussing,” he commanded before wiping Ferdinand’s tears with a handkerchief. 

Ferdinand sniffed back his tears. “What, you are not going to call me a crybaby too?”

“No,” he said offering the handkerchief to Ferdinand.

Ferdinand huffed as he snatched it away. “Why not? It is a sign of weakness. You love to taunt me for those.”

“I have held Lady Edelgard as she wept,” Hubert said as he stood straight. “Do you feel she is weak?”

Ferdinand shook his head.

Hubert nodded. “What I said was needlessly cruel. I apologize.”

Ferdinand wiped the last of his tears away and shook his head. “What you said are things I have heard before.” He shrugged and rolled his eyes. “I should be used to them by now.”

“From whom?”

“My father.” Ferdinand started to speak in a nasally, higher pitched tone. “Stand up straight, Ferdinand. Stop smiling so much, you’ll appear weak, Ferdinand. Stop that infernal singing, Ferdinand. Stop dancing with the sword and stab that dummy, you pathetic excuse for a noble. Nobility does not cry, Ferdinand.” He chuckled and shook his head. “I should not let it get to me so. I do not wish to be the kind of man he wants me to be. I want to be better. I want to be the kind of noble people look up to and not just admire, but emulate. I want them to see me and say ‘There is Ferdinand von Aegir. A true noble. Kind and just.’ That is what I want the Aegir name to be associated with. Not the greed and power lust that consumed by father.” He sighed. “But perhaps you are right, Hubert. Perhaps I do just annoy everyone. Perhaps my best is not good enough. Perhaps I am wrong about the true meaning of nobility. Perhaps the kind of noble I wish to be only exists in childish stories.”

Hubert made a thoughtful hum as he turned to leave. “Perhaps if the nobility strived for your ideals, the world would not be such a cruel place.”

“…th-thank you.” He looked up to watch as Hubert opened his door. “Hubert?”

“Yes?” he asked, pausing.

“If…if you would like…perhaps we could take tea together? Maybe…” he gripped the blanket on the bed. “Maybe we could try being friends?”

Hubert shook his head. “I cannot. I’m travelling to Enbarr with Lady Edelgard. I will be gone for some time.”

“For what purpose?”

“To visit her father. He is ill.”

Ferdinand pouted. That didn’t make sense to him. If there was anything important happening in the capital, surely his father would have shared it in a letter of some sort. “I have not heard of this.”

Hubert looked over his shoulder to Ferdinand. “That is because it does not concern you.”

“I dare say it does!” Ferdinand protested. “As the future Duke Aegir, I –“

“Future,” Hubert repeated. “As you are now, you are nothing,” he said firmly as he left Ferdinand in a stunned silence.

* * *

  
“You’re quiet,” Edelgard said as Hubert watched her finish packing for their time away.

“I am often quiet,” he responded, standing still.

“Something is bothering you, Hubert. Do not keep it from me.”

“There is something I wish to discuss,” he said. Everything had been so intricately planned. Nothing could stop them now. Hubert wouldn’t let her be stopped.

“As do I," she said. A slight blush appeared on her face as she spoke. "I have asked the professor to join us. I assume that is all right?”

He paused for a moment before answering her, taking a few deep breathes. He had a change in mind as well and he was not sure how she would react to it. He was an adaptable man, certainly, adjusting and plotting to fold the professor into their plans the moment they had shown up, but his change was different. Edelgard was certain to make some sort of connection. “Of course.”

“I am glad to hear it. What do you have to say?”

He exhaled. “It is about Duke Aegir.”

“That is admittedly not what I was expecting. What about him?” she asked as she tied one of her ribbons in her hair.

“I do not feel it is best to kill him at this time.”

She said nothing for what felt like hours before calmly asking, “Is this about Ferdinand?”

He winced, afraid to know how much she had figured out. “Lady Edelgard, I-“

“You have been spending more time with him lately, I’ve noticed," she said, her voice up a pitch in amusement. "Is he aware of our plans? I wish you would inform me if he was.”

He frowned. He would never betray his lady’s trust. It was bad enough he told Ferdinand of their intent to travel. Maybe he shouldn’t have even said that. “If I were to say anything, you would be the first to know. You know that.”

She sat on her bed with a small smile on her lips. “You used to want to get along when we were children. I would always get excited when Ferdie would come by the palace to play. You would too, though you were terrible at showing it.” She chuckled. “You would always try to rile him up and get him to chase us around…” She sighed, her small smile faltering. “And then it wasn’t the same anymore. You started ignoring him, fighting with him, pushing him away from me. That’s when he really started to be so competitive. Like he was trying to earn his way back into your graces." She tucked some her hair behind her ear. "He wasn’t at fault for what happened, you know.”

Hubert shook his head. “I couldn’t look at him without remembering everything his father did and how it was planned with mine. How often had they plotted against the Emperor, against you, while I was busy being childish and carefree with Ferdinand? I could have learned what was going on. I could have stopped it. I failed you and I cannot help but wonder. What if it was partially due to being distracted by him?”

She stood from the bed and approached him, studying him carefully. They were not what others would consider affectionate friends, but every now and then, it was needed. She leaned up on her toes and hugged him. He inhaled a deep breath as he gently returned the hug. He was not a man who deserved comfort, but these memories hurt Edelgard as well and he would do all he could to assist her. “It wasn’t Hubert. You know that. And you have never failed me. What has me concerned is the reason you have from deviating from the plan you concocted. I thought you wanted Duke Aegir to answer for his crimes.”

He nodded as he backed out of the hug. “I came to a realization,” he said.

“And just what did you realize?”

Hubert took a deep breath. His mind was focused on Ferdinand. The son of the man he’d planned to kill. How beautiful he was. How kind, how passionate. He couldn’t stop thinking about how much Ferdinand said about his father without truly saying it. He felt rage boiling within him at the thought of how much Duke Aegir had hurt Edelgard and Ferdinand in very different but very real ways. Death would be a kindness. “Why kill him when I can do so much worse?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tea time!

Ferdinand frowned as he glared at the library shelves. He made his selection and stormed back toward his room. He did not appreciate how Hubert had left him. What was he even doing in Enbarr and why had Ferdinand been not informed? Was he going to return to him? Was he foolish to think whatever it was they were doing was anything more that giving in to carnal desire? And why did he have these desires for Hubert? He couldn’t stop thinking about him and was ashamed that he’d spent his evenings as of late pleasuring himself to thoughts of the man. His low voice, his dark chuckle, the way he felt inside him, the way he’d suck at Ferdinand’s skin, leaving dark marks that Ferdinand was pleased his uniform jacket concealed. He could still feel them there, even though their color had since faded. He wondered if the ones he’d left on Hubert had done the same. He wondered if Hubert was even thinking of him at all.

“Ferdinand von Aegir, at long last, there you are!”

Ferdinand looked behind him to see Lorenz approaching. His face broke into a grin. “Lorenz! What do you mean at long last? Do not tell me you were off on some errand as well without my notice.”

“Hardly. It is simply that you are rather scarce these days. How dare you, my most noble of friends? I demand you make it up to me.”

Ferdinand laughed. “Lorenz, I fear all I have to offer is the pleasure of my company and some of the finest imported tea leaves.”

“Hmm, I suppose I’ll have to make do. This afternoon?”

“Yes, that sounds good. I apologize for being so distant, Lorenz,” he said, a soft smile coming to his lips. He hadn’t realize how much he’d distanced himself from his good friend. Certainly tea together would be the light, uplifting experience he needed.

Lorenz shook his head. “No need to apologize, my dear Ferdinand. You can tell me all about it later.”

* * *

It was a beautiful afternoon outside and Ferdinand couldn't help but stare at the blue sky.Lorenz poured Ferdinand a cup of tea before serving himself. “So, what has been keeping you from our regular, most enjoyed tea times, Ferdinand? I simply must know.”

Ferdinand sighed and traced the rim of his teacup with his finger as he thought of some excuse. He couldn’t tell Lorenz the truth of the matter. Even though Lorenz had joined their class recently, he admittedly was not terribly fond of Hubert. “It is difficult to say. I find myself easily distracted recently. Assignments, training, missions, it all adds up, you know.” He brought the teacup up to his lips and took a long drink. A nice southern fruit blend. His favorite. He eyed Lorenz, trying to figure out if he liked it as well.

Lorenz nodded before taking a sip of his tea. “And Hubert? Where do you manage to fit him in?”

Ferdinand nearly fumbled his teacup, but succeeded in keeping hold of it. “Excuse me?”

Lorenz set his teacup down. “Oh please, Ferdinand. Something has changed between the two of you and anyone would be blind to not notice it.”

Ferdinand frowned. Lorenz wanted to be catty? Fine. Ferdinand could be catty. “I did not realize it was taboo to befriend someone you once considered an enemy. I learn so much when we take tea together, Lorenz, thank you for your insight.”

Lorenz raised an eyebrow. “Befriend? Is that what they’re calling it these days?”

“Lorenz, I do not know what you are talking about.”

“Ferdinand,” he folded his hands on the table and looked intently at Ferdinand. “I saw you dance with him at the ball. Since then you’ve been joined at the hip, so to speak.”

Ferdinand laughed and tried to look anywhere that was not at Lorenz. “I did not realize it was a crime to dance with a friend. I will be sure to never make such a mistake again and will propose marriage to anyone I dance with in the future.”

Lorenz scoffed. “Friends? Since when have you become friends?”

Ferdinand shrugged. “It is as I said. We have found common ground and are getting along. As the future Prime Minister it is in my best interests to play nice.”

“Ferdinand,” Lorenz stated. “This is Hubert we’re talking about. Your hatred of him reached depths I never once believed were fathomable. What could have possibly changed so much?”

“My own personal growth as a human being, I imagine.”

“Ah, personal growth. There is nothing more noble in the world. Tell me, at which stage of personal growth do you clumsily plod up the stairs, speaking in hushed whispers until you pick a room for the night? Though to be fair, I’m surprised he has a room of his own, rather than sleeping on a pillow at the foot of Edelgard’s bed.”

Ferdinand glared daggers at Lorenz. “Lorenz, I will have you know, I do not appreciate your tone and you should choose your words carefully if you wish to keep our friendship.”

Lorenz sighed and relaxed back into his seat, his expression showing more concern than it had been. “I treasure our friendship, Ferdinand, you know that. That is why I am merely looking out for you. I worry about these dalliances of yours and the effect they could have on your future.”

“Lorenz,” he sighed, exasperated. “Fine. It is something of an affair. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“With another man.”

Ferdinand rolled his eyes. “You act like there is something wrong with that.”

“Well no, of course there isn’t,” he said as he finished his tea. “So long as you aren’t Ferdinand von Aegir.”

“What do you mean?”

“Simply, Ferdinand, you can’t. You have told me you are your family’s only legitimate heir. You will be Duke Aegir. You will be Prime Minister. There are expectations of you and your noble duty and they are indeed lofty. You will need to marry and you are expected to pass on your crest.” Lorenz leaned forward over the table, his expression pleading for Ferdinand to listen. “Whatever it is you are doing, it can’t very well go anywhere. Especially not with him.”

Ferdinand huffed. “You sound like my father, do you know that?”

“Very well,” Lorenz said sitting back. “A little feisty today, I understand.”

“Now you sound like my mother,” he groaned.

“And you sound like someone who wants to speak with a parent. I am sorry you do not feel comfortable enough to do so, and on that we are similar. But if you won’t listen to me, may I suggest the advice box in the chapel? I believe it is our beloved professor responding recently, and they are quite good at it. You could also speak with them directly.”

Ferdinand shook his head. “I do not wish to trouble them. Not when they’re going through so much.”

Lorenz solemnly nodded. “That I can understand. Listen, Ferdinand, I did not mean to upset you. I am only looking out for what’s best for you. I do not wish to see you hurt by von Vestra or anyone. He may be a noble, but he is not like us. Those of us of a certain refinement have to look out for one another.”

Ferdinand nodded. “I appreciate that, Lorenz. I promise I do. But trust me that I can take care of myself.”

“See to it that you do. That said, the ceremony in the Holy Tomb is coming up. Odd that Edelgard still has yet to return. Going back and forth to Enbarr like that, it must be tiring.”

Ferdinand nodded. “I agree, but I am certain she will make it. Her and the professor are close. If I were her, I would never dream of missing such an important day.”

Conversation turned much lighter through the rest of their meeting, but Ferdinand could not help thinking about how it began. How careless he’d been. He started to wonder how many people besides Lorenz knew. At least Lorenz was mostly cordial about it, if hypocritical. Wasn’t Lorenz the one constantly in trouble for harassing potential brides? At least Ferdinand was consistent in who he pursued. Pursued. It was odd to consider it a pursuit, but wasn’t that what it had become? He wasn’t sure what compelled him to kiss Hubert in the first place and wasn’t definitely unsure as to what kept him coming back for more. He was less certain as to why Hubert kept letting him. The only thing he had become certain of was that he enjoyed it. With this thought in his mind as he returned to the dormitory, he saw Hubert leaving Edelgard’s room with a polite bow before returning to his. “Hubert!” Ferdinand called before he could even help himself. “You have returned!”

Hubert froze with his hand on his door. He slowly turned to face Ferdinand. “Not now, Ferdinand, I am tired.”

He continued to approach. He couldn’t help being drawn to him and any concerns Lorenz expressed were becoming forgotten. “I only wanted to make certain you were welcomed back properly! I was worried you would not return in time for the ceremony.”

Hubert frowned. “Is that what you think of her? I assure you, Ferdinand, Lady Edelgard would not miss such an occasion for the world. Good night.”

“Wait, Hubert,” Ferdinand said leaning on the wall next to the door. He eyed him up and down, lingering on Hubert’s hands, remembering everywhere those hands had touched him. He looked back up to meet Hubert’s eyes. “Are you sure you were welcomed properly?”

Hubert shook his head. “I have been, yes. Good night, Ferdinand.”

Ferdinand leaned in close. “I missed you,” he whispered.

Hubert shivered. “Is that so?”

Ferdinand smirked as he saw Hubert tremble and kept his voice quiet. “Did you miss _me_?”

“What are you getting at?” Hubert growled.

“You are more perceptive than this, Hubert. You know.”

Hubert sighed. “Ferdinand…” he looked past him and checked his surroundings before leaning back in. “Whatever you think this is, it needs to stop.”

Ferdinand felt his confidence falter. First Lorenz was against him and now Hubert himself? Why were they both so insistent on ending the one thing that Ferdinand thought was going well for him? “Hubert, did I do something wrong?”

“No, now leave me alone.”

“Hubert, we…when you left you said such mean things to me. l thought perhaps you were stressed about your trip. I thought when you returned, we could discuss it.”

“No,” Hubert said firmly. “Please leave, Ferdinand.”

“I will not. Talk to me. I thought we at least got to the point where we could talk.”

“You thought wrong. Now go.”

“No!” he stated as he reached for Hubert’s wrist.

They stared at each other; eyes locked for what felt like hours. Ferdinand wasn’t sure who moved first as they crashed together. Hubert held Ferdinand tight to him and clumsily opened the door. He pulled him inside and slammed the door shut.

* * *

Hubert traced his fingers through Ferdinand’s hair as he slept, cursing his inability to shove him away. He hadn’t let a word slip about what had happened in Enbarr, nor about what he’d done to his father and it was only a matter of days before he found out. Hopefully he could resist saying the less than savory details.

House arrest was simple enough to understand. The torture he’d put Duke Aegir through before the house arrest was not for gentler souls to hear. Ferdinand should never have to know that his father begged for his life from the man Ferdinand had chosen to lay with. He should never know how satisfying his screams were in Hubert’s ear. But Hubert would never forget. Hubert would always remember how little fight his own father had in him and how quickly he drew his last breath. Ferdinand’s had been much more stubborn. Perhaps that’s where he got it. Nevertheless, he would always remember how meticulously he took his time with Duke Aegir, twisting knives both physical and metaphorical and he would forever relish the look on the former Duke’s face as Hubert told him how beautiful Ferdinand’s voice was when it called Hubert’s name.

Hubert relaxed into the bed, still looking at Ferdinand. His hand went from his hair to his waist and held him gently. He clenched his eyes shut in same. How dare he hold him like this as if nothing was wrong? How dare he act like he didn’t just delight in torturing Ferdinand’s father and killing his own? How dare he pretend he wasn’t charging forward, carving a bloody path for Edelgard to walk and that the world as both of them knew it was to change? He did not deserve anything remotely close to this tenderness. He’d convinced himself over the years that he was fine with the role he’d chosen for himself. To an extent he was, until Ferdinand forced his way in. Hubert exhaled a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding and with it, cursed both himself and Ferdinand von Aegir, the beautiful boy who was more dangerous to Hubert than anyone could be.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A confrontation

Ferdinand stormed through the Imperial camp, scowling at the news he’d received. He did not say a word to the others who attempted to greet him or smile at him. “Where’s Hubert?” he growled at Bernadetta, who nearly shrieked as she cowered away from him.

“AH! L-last I saw him he was sp-speaking with Edelgard and…and…and the professor!” She pointed her trembling finger toward and alley to their left. “I think he w-w-went that way? Ferdinand are you…” but Ferdinand had already left before he could hear what she was going to ask. It was probably what others had been asking him all night.

They all wanted to know what he was doing there, and if he, like his father, was in opposition to the Emperor. What a foolish thought. His loyalty was to the Empire. It had always been. How could they not understand? He never wanted to humiliate Edelgard and show her to be weak. He wanted to improve the empire and through challenging her, strengthen her as a ruler. He was Ferdinand von Aegir and he was not his father. Still, a warning would have been nice, he thought as he approached the dark figure of Hubert von Vestra. Perhaps a warning would have helped calm the storm inside him and prevent the ignoble, irrational action he was about to take.

Hubert looked at him curiously as he approached. “Ferdinand?”

Ferdinand said nothing before punching Hubert square in the jaw, causing him to stagger backward.

“How dare you!” Ferdinand asked, glaring as Hubert rubbed at his jaw. Ferdinand reared back to continue his assault. He landed a few more solid hits before Hubert dodged and caught his wrist. Hubert twisted Ferdinand’s arm behind him and pulled him back, holding him close against him.

“Are you done?” Hubert asked, his lips against Ferdinand’s ear.

Ferdinand growled and pushed himself away from Hubert. “I talked to Edelgard. She told me what you did to my father.”

Hubert scoffed. “Well, he’s alive. You ought to be thanking me.”

“ _Thanking_ you? For what!?” He swung his fist again and Hubert easily ducked it. “You knew! You knew what you were going to do. You knew and you still…” he shook his head. “You used me for your own sick pleasure,” he muttered, his anger and voice faltering.

Hubert laughed. “ _My_ sick pleasures?” He shook his head. “Oh, no no, Ferdinand,” he said with an amused grin. “It was never just me. You reciprocated, you initiated just as much as I did. I gave you what you wanted.”  
  
“What I…” he gritted his teeth. “You took _everything_ from me.”

“I have given you a gift.”

“A gift?” He laughed. “A _GIFT_? My life is ruined! Everything I had…my lands, my title, my family’s reputation…you took it from me and you dare call it a gift? I am nothing thanks to you.”

Hubert loomed over Ferdinand and pinned him to the wall by his shoulders. “You are alive,” he stated.

Ferdinand hung his head. “That is no gift. Not now.”

“Is it not? You are free,” he continued. “You are free from your title, your obligations, your father...” Hubert grabbed Ferdinand’s chin and tilted his face upwards to look him directly in the eyes. “You are Ferdinand von Aegir, and you are the one who gets to decide what that means. You get to lift yourself up by your own merits. And your horrid, rotten father will have nothing to do but watch as you destroy his legacy and build your own. It was the worst torture I could think of.”

Ferdinand sniffled as his vision blurred with tears and he could feel his entire body tremble. He reached his shaking hands up and grasped the front of Hubert’s jacket so tight, his fingers ached. “I…I am so scared.”

“Stop being so dramatic,” Hubert grumbled, pushing Ferdinand’s hands away.

“I…” tears rolled down his cheeks. He pounded his fist against Hubert’s chest. “How dare you. You have no idea what I am going through. You have no idea what it is like to lose everything!”

“No, Ferdinand, I very much do. But you have plenty remaining. You have not lost your convictions. You have not lost who you are. So who are you, Ferdinand von Aegir. Where do you stand?”

He considered Hubert’s words and remembered fully his dedication to the Empire. He bowed his head. “…with you,” he said quietly. “With Edelgard.” He inhaled a staggered, shaking breath. “You did not trust me before. Allow me to earn that honor.”

Hubert did not respond. He leaned in and kissed Ferdinand’s temple gently. “I want you to,” he whispered softly, lips brushing Ferdinand’s ear, causing a shiver to travel up his spine. Hubert moved to pull away but Ferdinand tugged him back and hid his face in his chest.

“I hate you,” Ferdinand said, crying into Hubert’s jacket. “I hate how I feel when I see you, I hate the wreck you make me and I hate that I do not feel alone when you are near. I hate that I need you like I do.”

“Oh Ferdinand, you are completely pathetic,” he said before kissing him roughly. He wrenched Ferdinand’s hands off him and pinned him to the wall by his wrists. He rolled his hips against him as he broke the kiss and settled his face against Ferdinand’s ear. “You are not even fighting me. If you hate me so much, show me.”

“I am not in the mood to fight you.”

“Oh? Is a punch to the face the same as hello now?”

“Do not mock me, Hubert.”

“You are not in a position to make demands. You said it yourself. You are nothing, do you not remember?”

Ferdinand glared up at him. “And you want me, so what does that make you?”

“There you are, Ferdinand,” he sighed before kissing him as if it was their last night alive. He started palming the front of Ferdinand’s trousers, coaxing his already half hard erection. Ferdinand started to press against his touch, his free hand gripping into Hubert’s hair. Hubert tried to pull back, and Ferdinand held him there forcing their mouths to remain locked. 

Ferdinand frowned as he broke the kiss. “You delight in tormenting me, Hubert,” he said as he caressed Hubert’s cheek. He brushed his bangs back to view his entire face. “Everything about you torments me. Even worse, I fear I enjoy it.”

Hubert caught his wrist and brought Ferdinand’s hand to his lips, his bangs obscuring his eye once again. “As do I. What do you propose we should do about that?”

Ferdinand pressed himself against Hubert and leaned up, their lips brushing slightly. “Lead us somewhere private,” he whispered. “And I’ll show you.” He laced his fingers with Hubert’s as they kissed, Ferdinand sliding his tongue into Hubert’s eager mouth as he surrendered to Hubert’s touch.

* * *

Ferdinand sat up and could not bring himself to look at Hubert. He moved to stand and Hubert grabbed his wrist. “Stay,” he said quietly.

“Why should I?”

“I want you to stay. I find your presence preferable to loneliness.”

Ferdinand paused and bowed his head. “What is this? What are we?”

“Does it matter?”

Ferdinand sighed. He returned to Hubert’s embrace. “It does.” He turned over so they were facing each other. “None of this makes sense and it has not for months now. We have hated each other for years, yet I want nothing more than to be here beside you. Why do we give into this?”

Hubert closed his eyes and rested his head against Ferdinand’s shoulder. “I do not have an answer for you. But I will say I am glad you stayed on Lady Edelgard’s side. I was concerned you wouldn’t. Still, for all we fight, I would have found no joy in having to do so on the battlefield. It would have felt strange.”

Ferdinand thought about it for a moment, imagining a scenario in which he had to kill Hubert or die trying. The mere imagining of it caused his chest to feel tight. “I do not think I would have the strength to strike you down. Yet, I do not think I would give anyone else the chance,” he said softly.

Hubert took Ferdinand’s hand in his and entwined their fingers together. “I would be disappointed if I fell to anyone but you. You would certainly give me a fight, as you always do.”

Ferdinand scoffed. “Of course, I would. Still, I hope I made the right choice in siding with Edelgard. I mean, certainly you are aware you need me for this.”

“Need you?” Hubert asked, pulling away and eyeing Ferdinand with curiosity.

Ferdinand nodded. “Absolutely! While Edelgard does give quite the invigorating speech now and again, I am far more diplomatic than the both of you. I will help sell this war of yours, but I need to know one thing. Do _you_ believe in everything she says she wants to do?”  
  
Hubert nodded. “Yes, with everything that I am. I chose this path long ago,” he said. “Not just for Lady Edelgard, but for myself as well. I do not regret a moment of the life I lead. That includes what I did to your father. I will not apologize.”

“I do not expect you to. If you did, I would know something was terribly wrong. But, if you believe that strongly in her, then I have no choice but to listen. I do not agree with everything she wants to do and I will express my concerns to her as I normally would, just so you are aware. And do not think for a moment that you can simply silence me by kissing me and…” Ferdinand found himself quieted by Hubert’s lips pressed against his own. He frowned as he pulled back. “I was trying to make a point, Hubert.”

“Yes,” he said with a triumphant smirk. “Trying.” Hubert closed his eyes and relaxed, resting his head once more against Ferdinand’s shoulder. “I do not regret whatever this is.”

More timidly than Ferdinand had ever done anything in his life, he began to comb his fingers through Hubert’s hair. “Perhaps we can figure it out one day.”

“Perhaps we can.”


	7. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An epilogue

**5 years later**

Ferdinand gently set his teacup and saucer back on the table and sighed as he looked to the message he’d received that morning. He mourned his father only briefly realizing he was more upset regarding the lack of closure than anything else. He sat back in his chair and looked into the sky.

“It is odd to see you so melancholy,” he heard Hubert’s voice say from behind him. “May I ask what is troubling you?”

Ferdinand offered a small, sad half-smile as he looked over his shoulder at Hubert approaching. He held up the message. “My father broke out of house arrest and was killed on his way to Hrym territory. From what I am told, it was not a clean death and there is nothing of him or his to recover.”

Hubert gave a curt nod. “I see,” he said.

Ferdinand chuckled and pocketed the note. “It is all right, Hubert. You are not one for condolences and I fear I have already completed my mourning. Besides, you made your hatred of the man perfectly clear. I was not fond of him either. Honestly, I would not be alone in saying he got what he deserved. Still, I have my regrets. I did not communicate with him in any fashion these past five years. I do not know if he is…was…aware of my accomplishments. I do not know if he was ever proud of me.” Ferdinand bowed his head.

After a long, lingering silence, Hubert moved to stand across the table from Ferdinand. “Do you wish to know what I think?”

Ferdinand looked back up to him, considering. Over the years, their animosity had waned only slightly. They still argued, but it felt more respectful than it used to. In fact, Ferdinand considered Hubert’s advice to have merit more often than not. How much they had both changed and Ferdinand was unsure how much of it was due to their continued, undefined intimacy. “I do.”

“I think it would be a bigger victory for you if he wasn’t. Your ideals never aligned; you’ve told me as much. Why would you want him happy with you if it means abandoning the man you’ve strived to become? Take comfort in knowing you have grown and matured into an irreplaceable asset to the Empire entirely despite and without your father’s influence. You have earned everything you have gained on your own. And if you still wish to measure your worth based on someone’s pride in you, you have plenty of other, better people to choose from.”

Ferdinand sat in stunned silence for only a brief moment before smiling gently. “That is the nicest thing you have ever said to me, Hubert.”

The soft smile was returned. “Let us not make a habit of it.”

Ferdinand shook his head. “I fail to see why we should not. After all this time, we still seek each other out for advice as well as…other…activities. Yes, we still fight most of the time, but I wouldn’t trade that at all. You challenge me to be better. And now I know I’m succeeding. I hope the same can be said for me. You seem a lot friendlier these days. Perhaps that is my influence on you.”

“Hmm, perhaps,” he said. He traced his fingers along the edge of table. “Ferdinand?”

“Yes?”

“Once you asked if we could try at being friends.”

Ferdinand felt his cheeks grow warm. “I did, yes.”

Hubert nodded. “Good, you remember. Well, I…” his voice trailed off and he cleared his throat. “I would like to make an attempt. If your offer stands.”

“Hubert? After all this time, you are finally asking to join me for tea?” He shook his head, a playful smirk on his face. He wasn’t sure when he started to become playful and teasing with Hubert, but it felt more comfortable than not. “Explain yourself.”

“Let’s just say,” he said with a small smile, a rosy blush coming to his face, “I figured something out.”

**Author's Note:**

> Laugh at my shame at [@schupuff](http://twitter.com/schupuff)


End file.
